just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
