Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize