had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
