Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
