Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Randomize
