i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
