I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
