I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
