I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
