carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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