I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
