I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
