We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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