He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Randomize
