some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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