But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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