Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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