did you get engaged???
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
