you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
