We named our party play list daddy issues
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
