So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
