I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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