I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
