dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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