their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
