no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Randomize
