So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
