if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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