Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms

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  (917): new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms http://tfl.nu/uasp
  Replies (12) Good night (1230) Bad night (2459)
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  (949): View more from California

  she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."

  (949): View more from California

  little did she know i was taping her the whole time.

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  (949): she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket." (949): little did she know i was taping her the whole time. http://tfl.nu/jcur
  Replies (53) Good night (9719) Bad night (2674)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.

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  (727): His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there. http://tfl.nu/9vdb
  Replies (6) Good night (1348) Bad night (2354)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?

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  (570): i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it? http://tfl.nu/x3ze
  Replies (4) Good night (2760) Bad night (909)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.

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  (316): He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over. http://tfl.nu/vzgx
  Replies (5) Good night (774) Bad night (1769)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.

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  (801): Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month. http://tfl.nu/irqs
  Replies (14) Good night (2138) Bad night (1308)
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  (949): View more from California

  he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem

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  (949): he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem http://tfl.nu/y96p
  Replies (1) Good night (1322) Bad night (524)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.

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  (608): You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here. http://tfl.nu/9wgz
  Replies (9) Good night (544) Bad night (1559)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  You and the dog were competed for the water dish

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  (508): You and the dog were competed for the water dish http://tfl.nu/2x76
  Replies (2) Good night (540) Bad night (801)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.

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  (770): I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle. http://tfl.nu/skko
  Replies (0) Good night (971) Bad night (425)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.

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  (+44): don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused. http://tfl.nu/f355
  Replies (7) Good night (2345) Bad night (477)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....

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  (512): I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin.... http://tfl.nu/idup
  Replies (1) Good night (440) Bad night (635)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening

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  (508): I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening http://tfl.nu/7pf2
  Replies (2) Good night (453) Bad night (231)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.

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  (254): You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived. http://tfl.nu/r7ld
  Replies (0) Good night (523) Bad night (217)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.

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  (804): We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout. http://tfl.nu/35o6
  Replies (2) Good night (392) Bad night (145)

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