Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.

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  (313) 4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh. http://tfl.nu/kzwc
  Replies (11) Good night (1083) Bad night (2343)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much

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  (703): My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much http://tfl.nu/7w3a
  Replies (3) Good night (510) Bad night (1286)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line

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  (519): who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line http://tfl.nu/dt51
  Replies (19) Good night (4178) Bad night (642)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.

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  (617): So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys. http://tfl.nu/6qzw
  Replies (26) Good night (11282) Bad night (819)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.

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  (201): Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied. http://tfl.nu/g4t4
  Replies (8) Good night (3859) Bad night (867)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?

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  (609): why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs? http://tfl.nu/z5vs
  Replies (19) Good night (547) Bad night (1791)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.

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  (732): Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related. http://tfl.nu/sl34
  Replies (5) Good night (2356) Bad night (834)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.

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  (301): I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now. http://tfl.nu/ln6x
  Replies (8) Good night (2269) Bad night (1159)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.

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  (740): I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of. http://tfl.nu/s19w
  Replies (8) Good night (1367) Bad night (624)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.

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  (214): How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk. http://tfl.nu/tw8m
  Replies (4) Good night (416) Bad night (888)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...

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  (217): I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop... http://tfl.nu/qb0c
  Replies (3) Good night (926) Bad night (543)
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  (323): View more from California

  but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"

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  (323): but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA" http://tfl.nu/kezs
  Replies (2) Good night (721) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom

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  (919): Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom http://tfl.nu/af7u
  Replies (5) Good night (1588) Bad night (393)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.

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  (678): Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch. http://tfl.nu/ra61
  Replies (5) Good night (373) Bad night (695)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.

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  (708): I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on. http://tfl.nu/l3j9
  Replies (5) Good night (928) Bad night (362)

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