Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long

(917): View more from New York City

Thats what she said

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(516): gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long (917): Thats what she said http://tfl.nu/ke6j

Replies (13) Good night (2001) Bad night (703)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy

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(318): i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy http://tfl.nu/15j4

Replies (26) Good night (1382) Bad night (622)
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(614): View more from Ohio

Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out

(574): View more from Indiana

You never cease to amaze me.

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(614): Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out (574): You never cease to amaze me. http://tfl.nu/7cst

Replies (18) Good night (5268) Bad night (828)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.

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(336): Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her. http://tfl.nu/icjy

Replies (54) Good night (2625) Bad night (15075)
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(937): View more from Ohio

Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal

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(937): Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal http://tfl.nu/rcec

Replies (25) Good night (4884) Bad night (1921)
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(773): View more from Illinois

How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?

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(773): How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom? http://tfl.nu/o0zg

Replies (42) Good night (1904) Bad night (5429)
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(817): View more from Texas

Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.

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(817): Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment. http://tfl.nu/91us

Replies (7) Good night (770) Bad night (1856)
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(514): View more from Quebec

its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky

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(514): its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky http://tfl.nu/m4rl

Replies (3) Good night (787) Bad night (715)
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(406): View more from Montana

Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.

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(406): Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip. http://tfl.nu/5qjy

Replies (6) Good night (903) Bad night (422)
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(360): View more from Washington

I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.

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(360): I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line. http://tfl.nu/9tdh

Replies (2) Good night (309) Bad night (840)
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(616): View more from Michigan

Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?

(1-616): View more from Michigan

I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.

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(616): Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries? (1-616): I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex. http://tfl.nu/oahp

Replies (5) Good night (923) Bad night (264)
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(512): View more from Texas

Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!

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(512): Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it! http://tfl.nu/uy3p

Replies (8) Good night (1308) Bad night (245)
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(518): View more from New York

THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason

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(518): THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason http://tfl.nu/3zx2

Replies (4) Good night (306) Bad night (587)
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(330): View more from Ohio

He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.

(216): View more from Ohio

Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.

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(330): He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success. (216): Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail. http://tfl.nu/s5vp

Replies (5) Good night (802) Bad night (262)
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(440): View more from Ohio

She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot

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(440): She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot http://tfl.nu/ybed

Replies (5) Good night (410) Bad night (616)

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