How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
