she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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