who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
