you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize