i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I think I sprained my soul last night
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
