All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
