Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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