We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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