Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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