you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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