I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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