But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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