I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize