Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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