my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
we're making bets on your personal life
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
