I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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