member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
