Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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