I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
