My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize