Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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