You don't have asthma, your pregnant
North Korea, Best Korea!
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
