You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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