oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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