Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
