I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
