If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize