we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I love having hate sex.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
