dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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