I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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