Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I AM VODKA MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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