Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
