U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
