i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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