WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
