Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Someone shit on the floor
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
