remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
