i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
They took my balls.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Randomize
